The ingredient every Esposa needs in her marriage.

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Jake and I are blessed with a great group of young friends….they keep us young ( I feel so old saying that). They often give us sweet compliments like “y’all are #goals!”, or “I love your relationship” and I must admit, it love it too. We’re proud of it, it took work for us to be as happy as we are today. Love came strong and easy for us, but it hasn’t always been smooth sailing, that’s for sure. And through all the tears, arguments, make ups, date nights, “come to Jesus” meetings, and everything else in between we found there are a couple of secret ingredients to marriage. Well, there are many but today I’ll choose two.

The first is that marriage is a CHOICE. everyday. Choose to commit to those vows, choose love, choose your marriage. And the second one is instrumental. And no, it’s not Love.

What’s more important than love? That’s all The Beatles say we need, right? well, I’m here to tell ya, they were WRONG!

I WISH all it took was love. In marriage, I feel, the rate of affection is fluid. There are some days, where that man i married is the most fine, most sweet, most romantic husband you would have ever met. and there are other times, where he’s….well he just doesn’t hit it out the park. And then, sometimes, those days can come more frequent, and even turn into weeks where he has his game is just not on point….and I am guilty of the same!

But even when Mercury is in retrograde, the hours at the office run long, and y’all haven’t had “Esposo and Esposa time” in a while this secret ingredient that will take you through those “womp-womp” days and back into the swing of things: RESPECT.

2 days after my wedding, my grandmother kissed me goodbye and gave me some sage advice as grandmothers are wont to do; She said “El Respeto es lo mas importante en el matrimonio…cuando no hay respeto, no hay amor verdadero.” Basically, she said if there’s no respect, there is no true love. I smiled and said “si Abuelita” but I most definitely did not take in the advice…not that I didn’t respect my husband, but because I was so wrapped up that new honeymoon romanticism that respect took a back burner.

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seriously in love. 

And then we were tested and I mean TESTED that first year of marriage. Life threw all sorts of lemons at us, and in those moments I wanted to crumble, my husband whipped up some lemonade in a big old picture called Respect.

I may disagree with my husband, we may have few similar interests, and he may not be the best at communication even seven years in, but he is the most hard working, kind, selfless and lovely man with the most integrity you will ever meet. He thinks faster on his feet more than anyone I know (and that’s saying a lot for someone in PR), and he is always, ALWAYS there. He will always be there for the ones he loves, and even the ones he doesn’t love as much…he is  a rock for so many.

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So even when I’m wrapping my brain around another issue and asking myself “why did I marry this nerd?” I know, that no matter what happens between us, I will always respect my husband for the man he is outside of us. The man who puts family first, above all.

Love can be a fickle thing. It can come, go, shrink and grow. But Respect, although it is capable of fluctuating, is harder to do so. Respect should be poured, equally form both parties into your  marriage.

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