How did we get here? How is it I took a breath and now you’re only hours away from turning one?

So, how is it we got here, again? It started with the slip of the sono tech’s hand, where we made the discovery of a flicker, then several very scary doctor visits where we thought we’d lost you…but tada! you fooled us.  We had a stumble (where I broke my ankle), and then a few weeks in bed watching Netflix and eating Ramen noodles. And as I pushed myself on a scooter (cause a pregnant woman should not have to swing herself on crutches), I found an inner strength in me I was afraid I didn’t have. And then, four days later than expected, you came.

All I wanted was to hold you so I could truly believe you were here. Just a few months prior, I thought I’d have to live with holes in my heart at the thought of losing you was all but certain. But alas, there you were…and as angry as I wanted to be a God for the series of tragic events which happened before your arrival, all I could so was weep with happiness at how utterly complete my heart and home felt with your arrival. There is no more room for bitterness. You’re sweet soul has pushed it all out of my heart.

Thank you, mi’ja. For saving your mommy from the depths of her depression. Thank you for giving your brothers their mommy back. Thank you for holding on, even when all the odds were stacked against you. Thank you for being you; my sweet, smart, sassy, and silly Ezri-bean.

You’re one year down, with many more to go, but you’ve got a head start on us all. This world is tough, but then, so are you. You didn’t care the odds were against you, that science would try to outweigh faith and hope-you wanted to be here so badly, I can’t wait to see how you change it.

Feliz cumpleanos mi nina hermosa ❤